


Small

by haileyyanneupton



Category: Chicago Fire, Chicago PD (TV), One Chicago
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-10
Updated: 2021-01-07
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:20:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 14,144
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26928790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/haileyyanneupton/pseuds/haileyyanneupton
Summary: Hailey Upton and Adam Ruzek have been friends for as long as they can remember. When Hailey leaves her prestigious private school to be with Adam in her junior year, she’s introduced to a new group of people who feel strangely like home.
Relationships: Jay Halstead & Hailey Upton
Comments: 9
Kudos: 48





	1. ❄ introduction ❄

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! So you may have seen this posted on tumblr already, but I thought I'd post it here too! Please be warned that there are mentions of domestic abuse in this series, so if that in any way negatively affects you please don't read it! 🥰

Hailey’s never been good at making friends. She was happy in her own company, but that didn’t mean that she didn’t _want_ friends — things just never seemed to work out exactly. She had one friend that she knew she could count on, one friend to make her smile and laugh and make her feel better when she was down, but with them going to different high schools — let’s just say it made things difficult. 

Adam Ruzek and Hailey Upton had lived across the street from each other all their lives, playing out in each other’s front yards since they could walk. While they had gone to school together up until 7th grade, Hailey found herself being moved to a private school where she knew nobody. In all the years she had been there she never had managed to find somewhere she belonged — every time she got close with someone there they would just stab her in the back and leave her bleeding on the floor. At the beginning of her junior year, Hailey finally grew the courage to call her brother and tell him what she should have told him years ago.  
  
“I don’t want to go to the fancy private school,” Hailey told him, the girl trying her best to cushion the blow but also stand her ground and make sure he knew she meant business. “I appreciate that you’ve worked your ass off to send me there for this long, and I tried — I spent four years trying — but I can’t deal with it anymore. The girls there are all so catty, everybody is either selling Adderall or trying to get in your pants — it’s just not where I want to be.” 

“Hailey.” Her brother didn’t seem upset, though she could tell by his tone that he disapproved. “You know why I did this right? Why I paid for you to go to this school? I want you to be able to get the best education possible so you can get far away from home when you graduate. If you get good grades you’re more likely to get a scholarship to some nice college with a residential program, which means having your own space away from. . . you know." 

Hailey’s gaze dropped down to her feet, her heart growing heavy. “I know. But. . . I can work hard and get into a good college too. I don’t want to spend my last years of high school miserable.” 

“Where would you even go? Have you _really_ thought about it?” 

“Of course I have, dude.” Hailey rolled her eyes — did her brother know her at all? “I’d go to the same school as Adam. He even said he’d drive me to school and drive me home if I could manage to convince you to let me leave the gates of hell.” 

“What if Adam is sick?” 

“I’ll take the bus, or I could ride my bike. It’s not like it’s far.” 

“What if it’s raining? You can’t walk all the way to the bus stop in the pouring rain if Adam can’t take you.” 

“Mom could drive me. Or Adam’s mom. She doesn’t work every day, and when she does it’s only from home.”

Her brother let out a small chuckle before sighing. “It’s up to you, Hailey. If you’re really that miserable there, I don’t want to force you to stay. I just wish you would have told me that you weren’t liking it there earlier so that you didn’t spend so long feeling out of place.” 

“I didn’t want to disappoint you.” 

“Hailey,” his voice went soft over the phone. “You could never disappoint me. I’ll call the school right now — is mom in any state to sign enrolment papers at the new school or do you want me to get on a plane?” 

Hailey sighed sadly, biting down on her lip. “She’s . . . uhm . . . I’m going to see if I can bring them home.” 

Hailey couldn’t fight off the smile that spread across her features. She was finally going to be able to find somewhere she fit in, somewhere where she had a _friend_. Adam had been there for her since she was young — being able to spend her last years of high school with him would be infinitely better than whatever the alternative was. 

_“Adam!” A six-year-old Hailey giggled as she was being chased around the front yard by her best friend. “You’re never going to catch me! I’m just faster than you!”_

_Adam grinned as he managed to reach out and tap the girl’s shoulder. “Tag! You’re it!”_

_As the two children switched positions, a woman could be seen coming out of the Ruzek home on the arm of her husband who was still dressed in his Chicago Police uniform from working the graveyard shift. Each of them had a smile on their face as they watched the two children dance and play happily._

_“You two having fun?” Bob — Adam’s father — asked the children as they slowed to a stop and grinned up at the adults._

_“We were playin’ tag,” Adam told his father. “Hailey was winning.”_

_“I always win! My mommy says it’s ‘cause I got long legs!”_

_Suddenly, the sound of glass breaking sounded from the house across the street — Hailey’s house — caught all of their attention, the sound of yelling echoing out as the small girl instinctively took a step back in fear. The Ruzeks knew all too well what was going on — Sunday afternoons never were pretty._

_“Hailey, come on,” Adam’s mother reached out for the girl, pulling Hailey closer to her in a maternal way as the mood went dark. “You two can play inside, okay?”_

_The small blonde girl frowned in the direction of her house as she reluctantly followed the woman inside, Adam by her side._

That was how it always was. Hailey and Adam by each other’s side for as long as they could remember. When Hailey had gotten a detention for punching a kid who was bullying another, Adam had jumped onto the teacher’s desk so that he could be in detention with her. Whatever one did, the other would be following right behind — it was just the way they were. That was why when Adam found out that the first two weeks Hailey had been at his school that she was eating her lunch in the janitor’s closet, he introduced her to his friends in hopes that knowing a few more faces would make things easier. 

Kevin, Kelly, Vanessa, Stella, Kim and Jay. 

Hailey didn’t know it yet, but these people would slowly become her family — whether she liked it or not. 


	2. ❄ one ❄

Hailey let out a loud huff as she hung upside down off of Adam’s bed one afternoon. She had been at her new school for two weeks and so far, she had spent one lunchtime locked inside a toilet cubicle, two in an empty classroom, three wandering the halls with a sandwich in hand and the rest in the janitors closet. She had attempted to talk to some people in her biology class but when they had ditched her in the hall, she had been too embarrassed to search for Adam and ask if she could sit with him. In the end he had managed to find out anyway — Hailey wasn’t very good at lying to Adam — leaving him to insist that she meet his friends. 

“Are you sure they’re not going to mind, Adam?” Hailey asked nervously, her hair strewn across the ground of his bedroom floor. “They seem really tight-knit and —“ 

“You need to stress less, man,” Adam chuckled, glancing down that the girl from the head. “You also should probably sit up before all the blood rushes to your head.” 

“But hanging like a bat is fun.” 

“So is being conscious.” 

Hailey sighed loudly as she pushed her legs off of Adam’s bed and instead starfished out on the ground. She was nervous, but covered well — if she wanted to make Adam’s friends to like her, she was going to have to. Adam had always spoken highly of them, making Hailey worry that maybe they were too good for her. After all, she was just Hailey Upton. Plain old boring Hailey Upton.  
A knock sounded at Adam’s door as his mother pushed it open far enough for her to poke her head through, a warm smile on her face as she looked between Adam and Hailey. 

“Are you two hungry?” Pamela asked gently, brushing a piece of hair behind her ear. “I can fix something for you both if you want a snack or something.” 

Hailey looked to Adam who shrugged, his eyes tearing away from the textbook he had been pretending to read for the last hour. “I mean if you’re making something, I don’t think we’d be opposed.” 

“Well what do you want?” Pamela had an amused smirk on her face as she tutted playfully at her son for a moment. “Hailey?” 

“A hash brown.”

Pamela chuckled, nodding her head up and down. “Hash browns. I can do hash browns. What about dinner? What do you both want for dinner? I’m in a good mood today, so I may be inclined to make you whatever you want.” 

“Actually — I can’t stay for dinner tonight, Pam,” Hailey interjected with yet another sigh. “I promised my mom I’d help her this apple pie that she’s found the recipe for. She’s really excited about it — it’s kind of adorable.” 

Pamela smiled, though Hailey could see the fondness mixed in with worry in her eyes. They didn’t address it — they never addressed it — it was more of an unspoken fact at this point. In their neighbourhood, when things happened everybody locked their doors so that they could have plausible deniability — nobody wanted to get involved directly. Adam’s family had been the first ones to ever offer up a place of solace for Hailey, who was now the only child left at home after her brothers had left for college or to go and work — the first ones to ever actually acknowledge that something was going on. Hailey didn’t know if it was because Bob was a police officer or if it was because they were nice people breaking away from the sense of conformity that had been forced upon everybody on the street, but either way she didn’t mind. She liked it at Adam’s house. Hence why she spent most of her time there. Hell, she even had a key hanging off of her keychain for the Ruzek’s residence — she was family. 

As Adam’s mother went off to put on some of the frozen hash browns she had in the oven, Hailey pushed herself back up and off of the floor and made her way back up onto Adam’s bed as she picked up her math textbook and stared down at the problems on her page. They were just that — problems — problems that Hailey wanted to set on fire so that she didn’t have to deal with them. Unfortunately for her however, she had been informed by her mother earlier that week that apparently that wasn’t how pre-calculus worked. 

“Sometimes this stuff makes so much sense, and other times I feel like this sigma guy is going to try and eat me,” Hailey huffed angrily as she skimmed over the page and answered the very few problems she knew how to do. “Look! See? Doesn’t he look like he’s going to jump out of the page and try to swallow me whole?“ 

Adam chuckled at Hailey. “You’re doing better than me, at least. I’ve been staring at these chemical equations for days and if I don’t get them done tonight, Mr Ramirez is going to kick my ass. All I’m seeing is a bunch of letters — they mean nothin’ to me.” 

“Let me see.” Hailey peered over at the boy’s book, using her finger to scan over the words. “Those are easy. Give ‘em here, I’ll do them.” 

“You’re the best, Hailey.” 

“Yeah, yeah,” Hailey grinned up at her friend. “I’m disappointed that it took you this long to work that out, doofus.”  
  
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The next day back at school, Hailey waited anxiously out the front of her English classroom for Adam to come and find her and bring her to his friends. She drummed her fingers against her thigh as she looked around for the boy, about to chicken out and retreat to the janitor’s closet for yet another lunchtime when she saw the face of her best friend walking alongside a brunette girl. Hailey vaguely recognised her but couldn’t seem to put a name to the face, waving a hand politely in their direction as she pushed herself off of the wall.  
“Hailey, this is Kim. Kim, this is Hailey.” 

Kim grinned widely, waving hello to the blonde. “Hi! Sorry it took us so long to get here — Adam got himself locked in the lab and I had to come and rescue the idiot.” 

“Of course he did.” A small smile of amusement came onto Hailey’s lips as she rolled her eyes playfully. “Where — uhm — where are the others?” 

“They’re waiting in the art room,” Adam answered, putting an arm around Hailey as they began to walk, the man squeezing her into him comfortingly. “Quit being so nervous.” 

“Wow, Adam. I’m cured.” Hailey quipped back monotonously. “Thank you so much.” 

Adam smiled back at Hailey with an over-enthusiastically proud smile as Kim snickered from the other side of the man. 

“I like you already, Hailey.” 

As the three of them walked into the art room, closing the door behind them, Hailey was faced with a group of people all staring over at her. She instinctively moved a little bit closer to Adam as her heart skipped a beat, the girl clutching her books to her chest as she forced a smile. They seemed nice — they seemed _really_ nice — would that mean that they wouldn’t like her because she didn’t always come across the same way? They seemed really close too, which worried Hailey. She wasn’t the type to gossip and she for sure wasn’t ever going to be able to have people over at her house in the situation that they’d want to hang out there. What would she tell them if they asked to have a study date at her house? Would any of them— 

“Hailey,” Adam hummed in the girl’s ear as she snapped out of her oncoming vortex of overthinking. “I promise they won’t bite.” 

Adam gave the girl an encouraging smile as she stepped further into the room, following Kim who naturally fell into place between another boy and an empty spot that Adam soon filled. 

“Guys, this is Hailey,” Adam introduced lightly as she found a spot on top of one of the tables, her books being placed down behind her as she smiled shyly. “She’s got this crazy idea that you guys aren’t going to want her around.” 

Kim gasped dramatically. “What? No! The more the merrier, girl!” 

Hailey’s smile remained but her gaze dropped to her hands which were sitting in her lap as she tried to make herself seem less rigid. It had been so long since she had really tried with anybody that she had forgotten how to, the prospect overwhelming her just a little bit. She was used to accepting that things usually didn’t work out — she really didn’t want to get her hopes up. 

“This is Kevin,” Adam pointed to the boy beside him as he gave a friendly nod. “You know Kim. Then there’s Jay, Kelly, Vanessa and Stella.” 

Hailey noticed that she was beside Vanessa who held a hand up for a high-five which she happily returned, her smile widening just a bit further. On her other side was a dark haired boy with green eyes that were impossible to miss, the colour of his shirt only bringing them out more — she was pretty sure she had caught his name as Jay. 

“I gotta go wash my hands in the bathroom,” Stella announced suddenly, looking at Vanessa and Kim who immediately stood up. “You wanna come with us, Hailey?” 

Hailey nodded gently, she too rising to her feet as she glanced back at the textbooks she had placed on the table. “Yeah, sure. Um — Adam, can you —“ 

“Don’t worry.” Jay placed a hand on the books, nodding once in the girl’s direction. “I’ll watch ‘em for you.” 

Hailey smiled gratefully at the boy before following the other three girls out of the art room and down the hall to where the bathrooms were. To her surprise, they were relatively empty — that was almost unheard of — with just the few freshman walking out after touching up their lip gloss. 

“Ugh,” Stella groaned as she turned the water on and ran her hands beneath it. “Man, I love Hot Cheetos but they stain my fingers so badly.” 

Kim chuckled lightly at the girl as she made some witty remark that earned another groan out of Stella while Hailey and Vanessa leaned up against the wall. Hailey had a leg propped up as she pulled her phone from her pocket, searching for something to do so that she didn’t feel so — _uneasy_. 

The feeling of someone kicking her foot lightly bought her attention back to the girl standing beside her. She had a warm smile on her face as she looked up at Hailey with a knowing look, her arms folded loosely together. 

“I get it, you know,” Vanessa started, causing Hailey’s eyebrows to knit together curiously. “I’ve been the new kid before. Twenty four times to be exact.” 

Hailey’s eyes widened in shock. “Twenty four times?” 

“Yeah,” Vanessa nodded with a light chuckle — it was obvious to Hailey that she had expected that reaction. “I’m a foster kid. Been in so many different homes at this point that I’ve lost count.” 

“That’s rough,” Hailey’s voice was light and sympathetic. “I’m sorry.” 

“Nah, don’t be. It’s alright. I just mean — you don’t have to be so nervous with us.” 

Hailey shot the girl a smile as she settled slightly, feeling better about the whole situation now that she had connected with Vanessa. By the time they had gotten back to the art room, the boys were throwing skittles across the room and trying to catch them in their mouths like idiots. 

Hailey resumed her position beside Jay once again, snorting lightly to herself as Adam nearly ran into a table after tripping over his own feet. When a skittle was thrown in Jay’s direction, he missed catching it in his mouth but instead managed to catch it against his chest with his hand, grinning as he turned it over. 

“Green,” Hailey observed, her lips curled upwards. “My favourite.” 

A certain sparkle could be seen in Jay’s eye as he held the skittle up by Hailey’s mouth, chuckling as the burst of flavour bought a beam to the girl’s features. As the rest of their lunch break came and went, Hailey felt much more at ease. For the first time in years, she finally had someone else she would be able to smile at in the halls — someone to say hello to in class. Even though she had only known them for an hour, she could tell she wanted to stick around. Besides — she could see how happy Adam was having all of his friends in one place. 

Maybe it was about time things started getting better for Hailey after all.


	3. ❄ two ❄

After comparing schedules, Hailey learned that she had classes with practically everybody. She had History with Stella, pre-calc and Biology with Vanessa, English Literature with Jay (who by the way, she did not peg for the type to choose) Chemistry with Kim and eventually Adam, who was switching classes under the false pretence that there were people who were distracting him in his old one. She even had Kelly, Kevin and Stella in her French class, but with the way everybody was shifting classes in the first month of school, she was pretty certain that she’d probably end up having more of them in their other classes.

“How long have you and Adam known each other?” Kim asked Hailey as they sat together in Chemistry, waiting for Adam to collect the supplies from the front of the room.

“Honestly, I don’t remember a time when we weren’t friends,” Hailey explained, smiling fondly with a roll of the eyes as she spied Adam making funny faces at her from a few tables away, waiting in line. “We’ve lived across the street from each other all our lives. One day we just started playing outside together and that was that.”

“That’s really sweet,” Kim lilted slightly as she tilted her head and let out a small ‘aww.’ “

Before either of them could pose any more questions or elaborate further, Adam dropped the supplies onto the table in front of the two girls before letting out an exaggerated sigh. Hailey only chuckled at the boy’s expense as he flicked the back of her head playfully, Kim finding amusement in the interaction as she grinned and started helping to set up their experiment. It was a pretty interesting lesson, the students splitting off into groups to fill out scientific reports on the effect that fire has on magnesium. Hailey was happy to let Kim take the lead because, let’s face it, she knew Adam was hopeless and would probably pour all of the chemicals together to see what would happen. If it weren’t for Kim, Hailey would probably turn her back for two minutes only to find herself having to put out a fire or something of the sort.

“Okay, Hailey,” Kim looked to the blonde-haired girl through safety glasses. “Burn the magnesium ribbon.”

Holding it close to the flame produced by the Bunsen burner with the help of a set of crucible tongs, Hailey her other group members watched as the ribbon produced a white glow. After jotting down a few notes about how it burned and the kind of energy it produced, the three teenagers settled into their seats and struck up a much less academic conversation.

“So,” Adam started, directing his words at both Kim and Hailey. “I was thinking—“

“I hate it when you do that,” Hailey groaned, interrupting the boy as she propped her head up in her hand. “Whenever you think, bad things happen.”

“Whenever he doesn’t think, bad things happen,” Kim added, causing Adam to throw his hands up in the air defensively.

“What am I meant to do then?!” Hailey spied the smirk on Adam’s face as he whined. “I don’t think I can find a grey area between thinking and not thinking, guys!”

Kim and Hailey laughed alongside each other as Adam sighed in fake-despair. While he and Kim started poking fun at each other all over again, Hailey sat back and let her mind wander around. She had officially been at the school for three weeks and had spent one of those weeks with Adam’s friends — well, her friends now too — and she could wholeheartedly say she couldn’t believe it had taken her so long to transfer. Somehow, the week that she had known them felt much more like months — they were slowly bonding together and getting to know one another.

“Anyway —“ Adam began once more, looking pointedly at the two girls who only smirked in silent response. “I was thinking that maybe we should organise a day after school to go out for milkshakes or something.”

“That sounds fun,” Kim exclaimed excitedly. “I haven’t had a milkshake in ages!”

“Me neither,” Hailey added. “That’s completely unacceptable if I’m honest.”

Adam chuckled lightly at the girl’s reaction. “Then it’s settled. We’ll let everybody else know after class.“

That day at lunch, Hailey took her now regular position between Jay and Vanessa as the group eased their way into a conversation effortlessly. The topic of discussion ranged between what they would all be doing after school to what was going on in each of their classes. Hailey knew what she was doing after school — like every day, she’d go to Adam’s house and hide out there for as long as she possibly could before having to go home. She stayed quiet and tried to blend into the background when the topic came up, not noticing that Vanessa had not only done the same but also had picked up on Hailey’s shift in mood.

“Hey,” Vanessa placed a hand on Hailey’s knee to gain her attention as she placed an apple slice in her mouth. “You want one?”

Hailey smiled at the girl gratefully, taking an apple slice between her fingers and taking a bite. “Thanks.”

“Some people think it’s childish to still eat apple slices at our age, but… I think they taste better this way anyway.” Vanessa scrunched her nose up as she spoke, the gesture making Hailey chuckle.

Silence fell upon the two girls for a few moments as they both cast their gaze downwards, the conversation seeming to fizzle out until Vanessa saved it. She had a sympathetic look on her face as she glanced over at Hailey who looked as if she were dreading something — little did Vanessa know, the conversation had reminded her that all good things had to end, including the school week which was practically her only escape at this point.

“Do you — Do you want to talk about it?” Vanessa asked, prompting Hailey to look over at her and meet her eyes at last. “You don’t have to. Just know that if you do want to…”

“Thanks, Vanessa.” Hailey’s voice and eyes softened. “I’m good. You can talk to me if you ever need as well.”

Vanessa smiled as she leaned her head up against Hailey’s shoulder, wrapping her arms around the blonde-haired girl’s torso as she returned the hug. Hailey couldn’t help but sigh lightly — she really didn’t want to have to leave the art room anytime soon even if it was to go to Literature, her favourite subject. She liked being with all of her friends, laughing and messing around the way that they had been. It made her happy.

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Hailey sat alone at a desk in her literature class after fetching her books from her locker when the bell rang. She was used to sitting alone — it didn’t bother her too much — which was why when someone slid into the seat beside her and their arm brushed up against her’s, she jolted slightly in surprise.

“Sorry,” Jay grinned sheepishly, a genuinely apologetic look in his green eyes as he leaned over and onto his arms which were resting on the desk in front of them. “Didn’t mean to scare you. Just thought maybe you could use some company.”

Hailey welcomed the boy to the desk with a smile, grateful that he had thought of her in the first place.

“Won’t your friends miss you?” She asked with furrowed brows, gesturing over to the only other boys in the class who were throwing screwed up pieces of paper at each other’s faces. “You can go back to sit with them if you want —“

“Nah, they’re more friends with each other than they are me. They know Kev, so…” Jay’s tone held a sense of nonchalance as he spoke. “Besides, the view is better over here anyway.”

Either Hailey hadn’t picked up on what Jay had been insinuating or she had chosen to ignore it, because the girl didn’t react to the boy’s comment with anything more than a brief smile as she pulled a notebook from beneath her pile of books and opened it up to a fresh page. Jay studied the girl intently, watching as she glided her pen across the top of the page and leaving behind the date. Figuring he should do the same, Jay reached down for his own notebook only to remember that he had forgotten it in his locker after getting distracted by his brother Will who was messaging him asking how to turn on the washing machine. Yes, the washing machine.

“Hey, uh —“ Jay scratched the back of his neck awkwardly, embarrassed that he had forgotten but not particularly feeling like getting up to go back to his locker. “— would I be able to use some paper?”

Hailey of course, doesn’t hesitate in ripping a few pages from her spiral notebook and handing them over to Jay, intuitively knowing he would need a pen as the same time as she slid one across the desk to the boy. She didn’t ask questions, not wanting to embarrass the boy any further as the teacher stood up from her desk with a sheet of paper in hand ready to mark attendance. Hailey had learned that her literature class was pretty mellow — there were no kids that acted out particularly badly, leaving their teacher to give them a lot of trust when it came to assignments. This upcoming assignment proved to be no different.

“Okay, so for the next few weeks I want you all to work on a poem. Normally, I would want you to write a poem about a childhood memory or your favourite place at this point in the year but I decided that since we’re all still getting to know each other, it would be more interesting to write a poem about somebody else. A classmate. You’ll have to get to know them before you write your poem — which is why I’m giving you a few weeks — and then you’ll present to the class when you’re done. I only have two rules surrounding this assignment — firstly, none of you are to do anything illegal. Second, nobody is to get pregnant. Please. That’s all I ask.”

Snickers erupted across the classroom as one of the boys Jay had been talking to earlier piped up, the attention shifting from the teacher and over to him as he placed his hands on his stomach, mimicking a pregnant woman.

“Miss, I think it’s too late for me,” he grinned mischievously, his words coming out between his own laughter. "Does anybody wanna feel it kicking? Come on, don’t be shy —“

“Pipe down, Marcus,” the literature teacher interrupted the boy as the class laughed at his antics; even she had a smile on her face as she shushed the class. “Anyway — other than that I’m happy for you all to take the rest of the day ‘off’ to get to know each other since this is your last class. I’ll be assigning partners though — don’t get too excited just yet.”

As the teacher walked around the class and paired people up, Hailey became less and less enthused about the assignment at hand. She could see that the teacher was intentionally splitting up friends and people sitting by each other; the idea made her feel nauseous with anxiety. She didn’t want anybody who wasn’t her friend to learn about her — Jay was the closest thing she had to that in this room. Waiting for the inevitable to happen was some kind of hell loop for the teenager as she wrung her fingers beneath the table, the teacher seemingly taking her time before finally approaching Hailey and Jay’s desk with a small yet curious smile.

“Actually,” the woman began, glancing between the blonde and the brunette with a certain look in her eye that Hailey couldn’t quite place. “I think I’ll keep you two together. I think it’ll be interesting to see what the two of you come up with.”

The elephant that had been sitting on her chest finally dispersed as she and Jay made eye contact, a small smile creeping onto her face as the class was dismissed for the day to work on their project. Hailey was glad to be working with Jay — she was comfortable with him for the most part, not to mention the fact that he was incredibly intriguing if she did say so herself. Jay definitely wasn’t opposed — Hailey seemed to be a complete mystery to anybody who wasn’t Adam, leaving him itching for answers; he wanted to know her. He wanted to know Hailey Upton.

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“Where do you want me to tell Adam to pick me up from?” Hailey asked, turning to Jay who was sitting beside her in the driver’s seat as she held her phone in hand, her thumbs dancing across the screen as she formulated a text to send to her friend.

“What?” Jay seemed shocked by her words. “No — Hailey, I’ll drive you home. Tell Adam not to worry.”

“Are you sure?” Hailey seemed uncertain, not wanting to inconvenience the boy.

“Of course I am,” Jay chuckled lightly with a lopsided smirk. “What’d you think I was going to do? Leave you stranded?”

“I don’t know! We’re doing this project so we can learn about each other — maybe that was going to be your way of getting me to learn that you’re a dick or something!”

“Well I’m offended,” Jay joked playfully, though it soon became apparent to the boy that Hailey knew how to dish it right back. “I can’t believe you’d think I’d ever do that, Upton.”

“That sounds like a you problem, Halstead.”

“Ouch.” Jay faked offence as he placed a hand on his heart and jutted out his bottom lip in a juvenile pout. “Why does Adam drive you everywhere, anyway? Don’t you have a licence? I mean — it’s cool if you don’t — I just —“

Hailey couldn’t help but give a small laugh at his attempt to eat his own words. “I have a licence, and I do drive — sometimes. My issue is that I don’t have a car, and since I don’t really go anywhere besides school and home, he drives me.”

“That sounds boring. I think we’ve gotta change that.”

“Do we now?”

“Duh. You need a life.”

Hailey rolled her eyes with a slight tut. “Tell me about it.”

Both Jay and Hailey shared a laugh as they slowly came to a stop in the parking lot of a beach lookout. She was certain she had never been here before — Chicago wasn’t exactly known for its beaches, let alone lookouts over Lake Michigan. Entranced by the view, Hailey almost didn’t notice Jay taking the keys out of the ignition and opening up the driver's side door as he clambered out as she followed, climbing up onto the bonnet of the car beside him.

“It’s pretty here,” Hailey said breathily, her eyes fixed upon the water as she leaned back slightly. “I didn’t know that something like this existed.”

Jay nodded affirmatively. “Neither did I until a few years ago. It’s one of my favourite places to come when I want to relax.”

“I can see why.” Hailey found herself with a smile as she turned her head to face the boy beside her. “So… my first question — why did you choose literature? I mean, I didn’t really take you to be the kind of guy into this stuff.”

Jay hummed in thought for a moment or two. “I’ve always liked words. Speaking them, reading them, writing them. I think I was probably the only kid who actually enjoyed the book studies and analysing them so I could find a deeper meaning.”

“I loved those!” Hailey’s eyes twinkled with happiness as she spoke. “We got to dive into this world that was so similar yet so different to ours and examine every part of it, take it apart until there was nothing left. It was — I don’t know — cathartic?”

“In a way, I suppose you’re right.” Jay bought his right leg up in a bent position, resting his arm upon his knee as he directed his next question at the blue-eyed girl beside him. “What’s your favourite colour?”

“Blue. It’s calm. Peaceful. What’s yours?”

“Red — I dunno why. It’s always been red.”

That’s how the rest of their afternoon went. Jay and Hailey asking each other random questions and just talking about random things that otherwise probably wouldn’t come up in conversation. Jay was more than happy to drive Hailey back to her house, the boy unable to take his eyes off of the girl as he watched her walk through her front door and disappear. There was still so much of Hailey Upton that was a mystery to Jay, but he was determined to learn everything there was to learn about her. A week ago, he hadn’t even known the blonde-haired, blue-eyed beauty — now, she was invading his every thought.


	4. ❄ three ❄

As Hailey came out of her room and downstairs to the kitchen, she spied her mother standing by the stovetop as the teenager rubbed the sleep out of her eyes with a yawn. Her mother smiled over at her as she flipped a piece of bacon, kissing her daughter’s forehead as she tiredly made her way over.

“Well good morning my Hailey Bailey,” Anne smiled as Hailey buried her head into the crook of neck. “You sleep alright?”

Hailey nodded lightly, her voice raspy as she opened her mouth to speak. “Yeah. I was awoken to the smell of food though, so I’m glad to see that there was in fact something cooking down here and I’m not having a stroke.”

“I’m makin’ some bacon — if you wanna put some bread in the toaster too, that’d be a help.”

“You’re liking your rhymes today, aren’t you?” Hailey chuckled lightly as she yawned once again, pulling the loaf of bread from the pantry as she shoved a few pieces into the toaster without much care.

The sound of footsteps coming down the stairs caused both Hailey and her mother to look up as her father came downstairs. He too wore a smile as he came over to Hailey and his wife, kissing them both on the top of their heads just like Anne had done only moments earlier.

“Morning sweetie,” Hailey’s father squeezed Hailey’s shoulder in passing as he reached around her to turn on the coffee pot.

“Morning dad.”

“I was planning on going into the shop today,” he started, turning to Hailey as he pulled a mug from the top shelf. “Do you wanna come with me, Hailey?”

Hailey hummed in thought for a moment. “I don’t know. Can I think about it?”

“'Course you can.”

It was moments like these that Hailey held onto, storing them at the forefront of her mind for when she needed them. As easy as it was to convince herself that things at home were all bad, all the time — that just wasn’t true. Sometimes there were good moments where she and her parents spent hours laughing with smiles so big that her cheeks hurt. Hailey held onto the memories of sitting behind the counter at her father’s store while she and her brothers would joke around, beaming when their father would bring them soft serve ice-cream that would leave her hands sticky and her nose dotted with white. Her father had been a violent drunk long before Hailey had first made her appearance in the world and would probably be a violent drunk for a long time coming — that didn’t mean that the good moments couldn’t quite easily cloud the bad moments for both Hailey and her mother.

As they all sat down at the table, three plates set out in their usual places in front of them, Hailey speared some of the food onto the end of her fork before placing it in her mouth. A cup of orange juice sat beside her plate as she bought it to her lips and took a sip, scrunching her nose up at her mother who was staring at her daughter with admiration.

“Nate called,” Anne began, directing her words at Hailey who perked up at the sound of her brother’s name. “He wanted to know if I thought you were liking your new school. I told him given the fact that a boy who wasn’t Adam dropped you off at home last night, I’d say you were settling in pretty nicely.”

“A boy, hey?” Hailey’s father smirked over at the teenager who rolled her eyes. “Is he your boyfriend?”

“No, he’s not my _boyfriend_ ,” Hailey drawled. “He’s one of Adam’s friends and by extension, my friend. He happens to be in my literature class and the teacher paired us together for our poetry assignment. But yes, I’m liking it a whole lot better at this school — I have friends there for the first time in so long.”

Hailey’s mother smiled at her as her father stood up, mumbling something about fetching something from the kitchen as she and her mother continued eating their breakfast. It wasn’t often that they would eat together at the table — which was why Hailey was so shocked when she woke up to the smell of food. It seemed that things were going to go well today by the way the day had started off, but when her father returned with a bottle of rum — the blonde-haired teenager had to physically bite down on her tongue to stop herself from screaming at him.

“Unbelievable,” Hailey muttered under her breath venomously, slamming her knife and fork down onto her plate as she watched her father pour his rum into his coffee. “I’m going to Adam’s.”

Anne frowned deeply, standing up at the same time that Hailey did before reaching out for her daughter’s arm in an attempt to stop her from leaving.

“Hailey, please —”

“Don’t, mom. I’ll see you later — or not. Whatever.”

Anne audibly sighed as she sat back down in her seat, watching as Hailey walked right out the front door and across the street, disappearing out of sight.

❄❄❄❄❄❄❄❄❄❄❄❄❄❄❄❄❄❄❄❄❄❄❄❄❄❄❄❄❄❄

At the Ruzek’s house, Hailey found herself in the kitchen as she raided the fridge for something to eat. After leaving three quarters of her breakfast on her plate back at her own house, her stomach was rumbling loudly while she searched high and low for something that would rid her of her hunger. She groaned loudly when there was nothing that she could throw into the microwave to eat, her forehead meeting the refrigerator door over and over again with a distinct clunk.

“Hailey,” Bob chuckled from behind her as he came into the kitchen, his collar unbuttoned and rings around his eyes — he had just come home from yet another night shift. “What’re you up to?”

“Shit — sorry.” Hailey smiled sheepishly over at the man. “Did I wake you?”

Bob shook his head lightly. “No, no, you didn’t wake me. I have some things to do before I go and crash. Now — what’re you looking for?”

“Food. Anything that _resembles_ food. I had a decent breakfast going for me until someone decided to cover it with the stench of rum mixed in with coffee.”

Bob sighed, offering up a knowing look. “I’m sorry.”

“Not your fault. I just — _ugh_.”

Bob came up beside Hailey as he wrapped an arm around her shoulder, squeezing her in a comforting manner as he sighed sadly.

“Tell you what — if you wanna take my car and grab something to eat, you’re welcome to.”

Hailey shrugged, seeming slightly opposed as she rested her head upon the fridge once again. “It’s okay — I’ll wait until Adam wakes up so we can both go and get something.”

“Alrighty. Just know that the offer stands regardless of if you can drag his ass out of bed before midday.”

Hailey let out a halfhearted laugh. “Thank you, Bob.”

And with that, Hailey headed up the stairs and towards her best friend’s room, pushing his door open and heading right over to the bed. She pulled the covers back slightly before sliding underneath them, her head on the pillow beside Adam’s as she poked him repeatedly.

“Adam. Wake up,” Hailey started, her finger colliding with his forehead. “Adam. Adam. Adam. _Adam!_ ”

A groan came from the boy as he opened up his eyes, glaring at the blonde as she continued poking him, completely unbothered by the sour look she was receiving.

“You’re the world’s most annoying person, you know that?”

Hailey only chuckled as she refused to move from her position, letting out a frustrated huff which clued Adam into the fact that something had happened. He couldn’t quite work out exactly what — she wasn’t upset, just seemingly pissed off — leaving Adam to lay there watching as she shoved her head beneath a pillow to muffle the scream she proceeded to let out.

“Your morning’s going _that_ good is it?”

Hailey grabbed the pillow which was across her face and bought it down to her chest as she huffed once more. “Just one time, I wish we could be a normal family, you know? One time. The closest we ever get to being a normal family is Saturday mornings before he starts drinking, and yet within five fucking minutes of waking up and coming downstairs he’s pouring rum into his coffee right in front of us. In about forty-five minutes he’ll be throwing around insults, and an hour after that he’ll be throwing around a lot more than that. I don’t want to have to be there for that Adam. I can’t. I had such a good week this week, and now the weekend is here and he’s starting earlier and earlier with every week that goes by.”

Adam looked over at Hailey only to catch her forcing back the tears gathering in her eyes, the boy pulling his best friend close to him as she laid on his arm defeatedly. His heart ached for the girl who he thought of as a sister — she didn’t deserve this. Nobody did.

“I’m glad I have you, Adam. I really don’t know what I would do if I didn’t.” Hailey found herself speaking only the truth as her stomach rumbled yet again. “Ugh — I’m so hungry.”

Adam closed his eyes once again, realising where the girl was going with her words as he groaned. “Haileyyyy.“

“Adammmm,” she mocked in a similar tone. “Wake upppppp.”

“Why don’t you just take my car?”

“That’s no fun! It’s better when you’re driving because then I get full control over the music!”

“But I wanna sleep,” Adam whined loudly, causing Hailey to laugh from beside him. “It’s like — seven in the morning, dude!”

“Actually — it’s eleven thirty which is why I’m here waking you up in the first place. If it were seven in the morning I would have gone to the guest bedroom and gone to sleep because I do not want to be awake at seven on a Saturday unless it’s because I’m going to fucking Disneyland.”

Hailey sighed when she didn’t receive a response from her best friend, the boy either having fallen asleep again with Hailey laying on his arm or deciding to simply ignore her completely, leaving her to pull her phone from her pocket and scroll through her social media timeline. It was only when she saw a photo that Jay had posted that the man popped back into her head; she realised she needed to get his number so she could thank him for the day before.

“Adam,” Hailey poked the boy once again, earning a single open eye from him. “What’s Jay’s number?”

“Yeah, right — because I can totally remember his number off the top of my head.” Even though his words were muffled through the pillow, Hailey still heard the sarcasm in Adam’s tone. “It’s in my phone somewhere. Why?”

“I just want to tell him thank you for driving me home.”

Hailey didn’t wait for a response as she reached across Adam to get to his phone, unlocking it with ease as she quickly found Jay’s contact and sent it to herself. Before she knew it, she was typing out a message to the freckled boy from her own phone, her fingers seemingly knowing what to say better than her brain did.

Hailey: hey, it's hailey 

Hailey: adam sent me your number

Hailey: i just wanted to say thank you for dropping me off at my house yesterday

Jay: oh

Jay: hi

Jay: it's no problem 

Jay: like i said, i wasn't about to leave you stranded

Hailey: debateable

Jay: it's... it's really not

Hailey: uh huh

Jay: oh this project is going to be super fun with you isn't it

Hailey: 😁😜

Jay: n e ways

Jay: do you wanna go someplace different next time?

Hailey: next time?

Jay: yes

Jay: we still haven't finished our project

Hailey: haven't we? i think i know all there is to know about you mr halstead

Hailey: actually, that's a complete lie. i don't have anything for my poem yet

Jay: so... next time?

Hailey: there's a nice diner that sells amazing coffee and pancakes if you're up for that

Jay: that sounds like my dream

Hailey: the coffee? or the pancakes?

Jay: ...

Jay: why do you want to know????

Hailey: I'm getting to know jay halstead, remember? i'm asking only the important questions here

Jay: fine

Jay: you're right

Jay: the pancakes

Hailey: i knew it!!!

Jay: yeah yeah yeah 

Hailey: hah

Hailey: so is that okay?

Jay: yes of course

Jay: are you free tomorrow? i can pick you up at 10 and even let you use that driver's licence of yours to drive us there in my truck

Hailey: okayyy

Hailey: wait

Hailey: what if i meet you at this park near my house instead

Jay: what's wrong with your house?

Hailey: um

Hailey: sundays get busy on our street

Hailey: and

Hailey: um

Hailey: i hate trying to drive out of it when it's busy, i get scared i'm gonna hit another car

Jay: you could have just said that!

Hailey: it's embarrassing ://

Jay: don't be

Jay: it takes practice and getting to know the car you're in

Jay: which park?

Hailey: the one on the street before mine, there's a huge red slide in the middle of it

Hailey: you can't miss it

Jay: okay. i'll see you then, yeah?

Hailey: see you then :)

Just that small interaction with her new friend had brightened her mood back to what it had been before she had to witness the beginning of her father’s downward spiral. Soon enough she was laying beside her best friend and poking him all over again, although this time, Adam finally woke up and sat upright, much to the girl’s delight. Both Hailey and Adam were still dressed in their makeshift pyjamas as they drove to a McDonalds a few miles away, picking up a few breakfast items from the drive-through before parking in the parking lot to eat them.

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Waking up the next morning in the guest bedroom at the Ruzek’s house, Hailey found herself blinking a few times as her eyes adjusted to the light. Although she called it the guest bedroom, the reality was that over the years it had fully turned into her own bedroom for when she stayed the night (or the week). She had clothes hanging in the closet, shoes under the bed — hell, there was even a sign on the door that Adam’s mother had bought for her years ago saying ‘ _Hailey’s room - stay out!’_ Hailey hadn’t ever bothered to take it off, mainly because it seemed like a lot of effort for something she didn’t particularly care much about, but it was little things like that which made all the difference. There were never any questions asked when Hailey would turn up unexpectedly, nobody ever made a big deal when they heard her come inside and creep up to the ‘guest’ bedroom at 3 in the morning. When they woke up in the morning only to find Hailey pacing around in the kitchen — or in Bob’s case, to find her hitting her head against the fridge in frustration — they did nothing but give her a kiss on the head and ask what she wanted for breakfast. Hailey was just as much Pamela and Bob’s daughter as Adam was their son — they wouldn’t have it any other way.

Hailey threw the covers off of herself before stretching her arms up, her joints clicking into place before she reached over for her phone. It was almost nine in the morning, meaning she had about an hour before she had to leave to meet Jay at the park. After taking a quick shower, brushing her teeth and getting dressed, Hailey grabbed a bagel from the pantry before texting Adam to let him know where she was as she headed out the front door. She didn’t have to wait for long before Jay showed up in his truck, the boy moving over to the passenger’s side as Hailey jumped into the driver’s seat with a smile, swallowing the last of her bagel.

“Good morning,” Hailey greeted politely as she placed her hands on the steering wheel, rubbing it slightly — it had been a while since she had driven. “How’s your weekend been?”

“Eh,” Jay shrugged. “My dad’s been on my nerves — but when is he not? Oh well — It’s better now that we’re getting pancakes and coffee.”

Hailey grinned toothily. “Pancakes and coffee make everything better.”

“They really do.”

Driving Jay’s truck was surprisingly easy for Hailey, who for the record, wasn’t the tallest person around. Even he had thought she looked adorable hopping out of the vehicle when they arrived at the diner, the pair of them walking side by side as they found a table and pulled up a menu. While Hailey named off the things she had tried and gave her very detailed opinion on each and every one, Jay caught himself staring at the girl in complete admiration. There was something about her that lured him in and put him into a trance — he hadn’t ever been like this with anybody else in his entire life, and somehow it intrigued him yet also terrified him all at the same time. She was like some kind of goddess, roaming the streets and commanding the room with her nonchalance that she was completely oblivious to.

Jay and Hailey each ordered a plate of pancakes and a coffee each, the wait time not being long at all as their orders were delivered right in front of them. He watched — studied almost — every move that Hailey made, from how she picked up her knives and forks to how much creamer and sugar she put into her cup.

“You’re left-handed,” Jay observed, his voice quiet as though he was making a note of it for himself. “Either that, or you never learned how to use a knife and fork properly.”

Hailey chuckled lightly, looking down at the utensils she was gripping. “Yes, I’m left-handed. Are you already trying to eye off my pancakes, Halstead? I expect this from Adam who runs under the idea that when it comes to food, what’s mine is his — I thought you were more of a gentleman.”

“I am a gentleman, thank you very much! More of a gentleman than Adam is at least. I wasn’t eyeing off your pancakes — I’m… learning.”

Hailey gave the boy a look to show she was not convinced in the slightest, provoking Jay to give a similar look of disbelief as he leaned back in his chair and threw his hands up incredulously.

“I am!”

“Uh-huh. What learning would you be doing by looking at my pancakes slash hands, you weirdo?”

“We do have an assignment that involves us learning about each other, you know,” Jay defended, chuckling between his words. “I feel like the balance is uneven at the moment. You know heaps about me, yet I know barely anything about you.”

“Hate to break it to you, Halstead — that just means I’m doing my job.”

Jay huffed playfully with a roll of his eyes. “Hailey!”

“Okay, okay!” The blonde-haired girl laughed heartily before settling down at last. “What do you want to know?”

“Who is Hailey Upton? Like — who is she really? What does she like to do? Does she have siblings? What secrets does she hold? Tell me random facts about yourself.”

The two teenagers stared at each other for a heartbeat or two before Hailey cleared her throat, preparing to speak.

“My middle name is Anne. My birthday is May 23rd. Uhh — I have two brothers — both older — one’s in college in LA and one works as a mechanic up in Madison. I guess I like to read. I’m about as interesting as a blank piece of paper, Jay — I don’t really have much more to offer to you.”

Jay chuckled lightly at her choice of analogy. “Well, I think you’re very interesting. Far more interesting than you let on.”

Hailey only smiled in response as she pushed a piece of hair out of her face gently, tucking it behind her ear as she took a bite of her pancakes, smiling to herself in content. She was completely unaware to the gaze of the boy sitting across from her, his eyes trained upon her in complete admiration at how one person could look so — perfect — doing the most regular things. Between sips of coffee and more bites of the syrup covered goodness sitting on his plate, he sat, he watched and he listened. Her voice was like a siren — soft and sweet — Jay could listen to it all day. And he did. But it was all in the name of completing their assignment … right?


	5. ❄ four ❄

A little over a week had passed since Jay and Hailey had gone out for coffee and pancakes to work on their assignment, and each of them had decided that they would keep their poems a secret from each other until they had to present it to the class. Secretly, it was because Hailey hadn’t actually started the poem and had nothing to show him — meanwhile, Jay had already worked through at least half. It wasn’t a bad thing; she just hadn’t been able to find the right way to get it down on paper yet. Her plan was to keep collecting as much as she could about her literature partner; the group milkshake date seeming like a relatively good way to do so.

“Yo Upton, Rojas! Are you two coming, or are you just going to keep dragging your feet like slow pokes?” Stella called out to the two as they trailed a few steps behind her and Kim. 

“We’re coming, we’re coming,” Vanessa rolled her eyes as she tutted. “Calm your farm, Kidd.”

Hailey only chuckled as the Stella and Vanessa both fought for the passenger seat of Kim’s car, Hailey not minding the back as she climbed in and waited for someone to accompany her. Eventually it ended up being Stella who called heads on a coin that came up tails, leaving her to take the seat beside the blonde. 

The girls had all gone in Kim’s car while the guys went in Adam’s, all driving to the same place not too far from their school. It was a Wednesday afternoon and the upperclassmen had been given the afternoon off, allowing the group to finally go out as Adam had suggested a few weeks previously. Hailey’s mouth was already watering at the prospect of a banana milkshake — it was the only banana flavoured thing in the entire world that she liked. She had been buzzing with happiness all day as she awaited twelve o’clock to come; the second it did, she had almost launched herself out of her seat in pre-calculus. 

The drive to the milkshake parlour was short, but nonetheless fun. With Fifth Harmony blaring from the radio (courtesy of Kim), the words to Dope were being shouted by all four girls as they pulled up in the parking lot, finding a space right beside Adam’s car as they all jumped out and raced inside where the boys had saved them all a table. 

"Look what the cat dragged in," Kelly teased, earning a roll of the eyes from both Stella and Vanessa. "Took you all long enough. Did the car break down or something?"

"We were enjoying our drive here and listening to music, thank you very much." 

"And?"

"And. . . we got stuck behind a railway crossing."

"Knew it," Kelly smirked, a mischievous look in his eye as the girls all headed to the counter to place their orders.

As Kim and Stella debated which flavour they would get, Hailey couldn’t help but notice the way that Vanessa was awkwardly hanging back in an empty space smack bang between the front counter and the table that the boys were sitting at. Everybody else seemed blind to it — but Hailey was perceptive. She could see the way that Vanessa studied her feet as if they were the most interesting things in the world, the way she tried to retreat without anybody noticing. Although Hailey didn’t know why, she wasn’t about to let it go unaddressed. 

“Hey.” Hailey’s voice was only loud enough for Vanessa to hear as to took a step towards her. “You not getting a milkshake, V?”

Vanessa frowned ever so slightly, her eyes sad despite the fact that she tried not to let it show. “Nah. I — uh — I don’t really feel like one.”

Hailey knew that wasn’t the reason. There was something else. As she thought back over the day briefly to try and work out what could have upset her friend, it suddenly hit Hailey with as much force as a freight train. She felt almost dumb for not realising it sooner, her heart aching for Vanessa as she glanced back over at the girl.

“You can’t —“

Vanessa silenced the girl with a small nod — one that begged her not to go on about the matter. _Vanessa couldn’t afford it._

Before Hailey’s brothers had moved out and gotten jobs, her family had been in a similar situation. Obviously it wasn’t the same — Hailey had never been bounced around foster homes — but regardless, the Upton’s were living paycheck to paycheck. Hand me down clothes were all Hailey knew, whether it be a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles shirt from her brother or a Spiderman hoodie from Adam, she was always dressed up in somebody else’s leftovers. She didn’t mind too much about that part, but she could remember the first time that she went to school without lunch. She remembered the first time, the second time, even the third time — after that, it all just blurred together. It all just became the usual for Hailey who at the time, was still in third grade in elementary school. As she grew older, things got even just the slightest bit easier — Adam’s parents would always put an extra sandwich in their son’s lunchbox for Hailey, or they’d send both children with a ten dollar bill to pay for a hot lunch if they wanted. When her brother Nate moved out — he had always been there for his youngest and only sister — things changed for the better, financially. He was making good money as a mechanic. He could afford to pay for Hailey’s tuition at a fancy private school, he could send a hundred dollars or so to Anne to cover the groceries; he even started sending Hailey money so that she could buy herself what she could afford to be a teenager. Was it a lot? No. But did it make the difference? Absolutely.

Glancing down at her wallet, Hailey spied the two twenty dollar bills she had shoved in there that morning before leaving for school, the green paper sitting untouched until she took one into her hand, closing her fingers around it so that nobody else could see it. In one swift movement, her hand dropped down to her side and her fingers became interlaced with Vanessa’s as she sneakily and subtly transferred the money from her hand to the brunette’s, leaving the girl with wide eyes as she snapped her head around to face Hailey.

“I-I. . . You didn’t have to —“

“I know I didn’t have to, but I wanted to.”

The small smile on Vanessa’s face dropped for a second as she looked Hailey dead in the eye. “I’m not a charity case you know. I just. . .”

Her voice trailed off as Hailey squeezed her friends hand lightly. 

“I know that, V. I know. And I’m not treating you like one. I’m lucky enough to have people look out for me and lighten the load when I need it — you deserve that too.”

“But I’m not going to be able to pay you back Hailey — you know that right? I don’t have a job and I can’t —“

“Vanessa, that’s not what this is. I don’t want you to pay me back. I just know what it’s like to feel like you’re missing out because of something so shallow as money, and now that I’m in a position where I can make your day a little better, I’d like to do so. God knows you’ve done plenty for me since I showed up.”

“I gave you an apple slice, dude!”

“It’s more than that,” Hailey chuckled lightly, her lips curling upwards as she saw Vanessa stare down at the twenty dollar bill with sparkling eyes. “Besides — you do _not_ want to miss out on one of these milkshakes. They’re literally to die for. I would run through the fiery pits of hell, being tortured by satan himself to get one of these milkshakes.”

Vanessa shot the girl a lopsided smirk. “I dunno, Hails — walking up to the counter sounds like a lot less effort.”

Hailey only rolled her eyes with a grin as Kim and Stella finally stepped away, allowing the two other girls to order their drinks before returning back to the table where they would be bought out to them. Hailey took her usual seat between Vanessa and Jay (even when they weren’t in the art room, apparently their seating still stayed the same). As their milkshakes began coming out, Jay smirked in Hailey’s direction as she took her first sip of the banana flavoured beverage. 

“What?” Hailey quizzed, arching a brow as she crossed her arms across her chest expectantly. “There a problem?”

“No. Just . . . _observing_.”

“My milkshake drinking habits?”

“Your reaction to ordering the most basic drink on the menu.”

Hailey scoffed, openly laughing in the boy’s face as she turned to face him. “That’s rich coming from you, Halstead. You’re about as basic as they come.”

Jay only chuckled with a shake of his head as Kelly cleared his throat dramatically, calling for the attention to be bought upon him. Stella groaned from his left, her forehead resting against the table. Hailey let a small smile of amusement cross her lips; Stella wasn’t normally one to be embarrassed by Kelly’s antics — in fact, normally she joined in — but today, it was different. 

“I have an announcement,” Kelly proclaimed, tapping the end of his fingernail upon his milkshake — Hailey thought he looked like a dork, but she also knew he gave absolutely no fucks. “You all must listen very, _very_ closely!”

“Alright, alright, man. We’re listening. Out with it already!”

Kelly shot a lighthearted glare over at Adam who wore a grin in response. 

“After much deliberation, there has been a mutual confession between the wonderful, amazing, beautiful, talented, badass —“ Kelly paused for a second to dodge Stella’s fist which was heading straight towards his groin. “— _incredibly intimidating_ Stella Kidd and I. We — uh — we’re. . . “

“What this dumbass is trying to say is that we’re together.” Stella interrupted Kelly as she lifted her head up from the table ever so slightly, her chin resting upon her hands as everybody else broke out into a grin. “I told him we should tell you guys today, but I didn’t expect for him to make it into some kind of theatrical performance.”

“You should have known better, Stell.”

“Yeah, I’m realising that now.”

Hailey was happy for the new couple, but she wasn’t as invested as she could see everybody else was. Apparently, Stella and Kelly had been making heart eyes at each other since freshman year, the rest of the group waiting for one of them to make a move on the other. Hailey knew there was something between them but figured that they were probably just close like she and Adam were — she couldn’t even begin to count how many times people had assumed that she and the boy she had grown up with were dating. Nonetheless, it became evident that Kelly and Stella were much more comfortable with their secret coming out; their hands fell into each other’s as they laughed alongside one another. 

Sitting and watching, observing if you will, something suddenly became very apparent to the girl. It was one of those things that once she saw it, she couldn’t un-see it — the sight bought a small, fond smile to her lips as she stayed silent, simply watching. Well, she _was_ — until Jay interrupted her thoughts.

“What are you staring at?” Jay asked, a small smirk on his face as Hailey leaned back slightly so that she could speak only just loud enough for the boy to hear.

“Do you see what I see?” 

“Uhhh . . . ” Jay furrowed his brows slightly as Hailey let out a chuckle, shaking her head.

Without realising it, Hailey inched her way closer to Jay as she pressed her back against the cushioned booth they were in, her shoulder brushing against Jay’s as she grew even quieter. The freckled boy hadn’t seemed to notice either, despite the fact that they were practically sitting on top of each other at that point. 

“Look at them all,” Hailey couldn’t help but let out a small snort as one hand rested against her thigh, the other holding her banana milkshake close to her chest. “I don’t know how I didn’t see it earlier.”

“I still have no clue what we’re talking about here, Hailey. Give me something to go off of.”

“Right, right,” Hailey grinned up at Jay sheepishly. “So there’s Kelly and there’s Stella. Totally head over heels for each other, yeah?”

Jay nodded soundlessly, a puzzled expression still plastered upon his features.

“Then there’s Vanessa and Kevin. Now I don’t think they realise it just yet, but they’re totally going to be a thing.”

The boy’s eyes widened in realisation. “Holy shit.”

“Wait, just — just wait . . . ” Hailey held up a finger. “Now — look at Adam and Kim.”

If it were at all possible, Jay’s eyes grew even more as he too became fixated on the scene in front of them, the evidence now slapping him in the face. His mouth hung open wide as the corners of his lips turned upwards into a smile.

“I smell a bet coming on.”

Hailey grinned widely once again, a mischievous look on her face as her and Jay’s eyes locked. “You’re on, Halstead.”

“Twenty bucks says Burgess and Ruzek will get together by the end of the year.”

“Please,” Hailey scoffed lightly, folding her arms over one another before taking a sip of her milkshake. “Thirty says they’ll be together by the end of the _month_.”

“Ah, so you’re a risktaker.” Jay’s trademark smirk met Hailey’s gaze. “I’ll make sure to make a note of that for my poem.” 

“Not a risktaker, per say — I just know Adam is an impatient, idiotic dumbass who can’t help himself.” 

The mention of Adam’s name caused the boy in question to snap his head over to the blonde, a scowl etched into his features as he shot a playful glare over at the girl, Hailey not backing down from her words even the slightest bit. Before she knew it, everybody was back to their own conversations with people jumping in and out where they wanted to, leaving Hailey to do what she did best — observe. It wasn’t like there was something she was looking for or trying to understand; Hailey had just always been the kind of person who would sit and listen rather than interject herself into the conversation. She found that she learned a lot more that way — people would often tell you their darkest secrets if you let them do the talking. 

She would never admit it, but somehow, her eyes kept finding their way to Jay as if his face was a magnet and they were calling her. She studied every part of him closely, taking note of how the corners of his eyes creased when he laughed, counting the freckles that looked as though they had been methodically scattered across his skin in the most perfect way. Hailey noticed his little quirks and even jotted a few of them down in the notes app of her phone, like how he tilted his head slightly when he didn’t understand something or was asking a question or the way he would run his tongue his bottom lip when he was thinking of something. Every little thing that made him unique soon compiled into an extensive list that Hailey had saved to her notes, ready to use when she eventually found the right way to complete her own literature assignment. 

It wasn’t long before everybody packed back into the two cars, this time the order being switched up and mixed around. Hailey had gone in Adam’s car, because, well — _duh_ — meanwhile, Vanessa switched places with Kelly and Kevin who lived closer to Kim and Stella anyway. While Jay and Adam talked each other’s ears off, Hailey was sat in the back seat with Vanessa who looked absolutely wrecked from their day. 

“You look exhausted, you poor thing,” Hailey smiled halfheartedly over at the girl. 

“Yeah, I am.” Vanessa yawned tiredly. “I was up half the night studying for that precalc test we have.”

“You’re like, the smartest one in the entire class, dude,” Hailey said, looking at her friend with an incredulous look. “You don’t even need to study!"

“Still doesn’t hurt to make sure I know what I need to know. And to make sure I know that I know what I know so that I can make sure you know what I know.”

“I think I just had an aneurysm trying to understand that.”

The two girls shared a laugh as Vanessa leaned her up against the headrest behind her. Turning to Hailey slowly, the girl wore a small and gratuitous smile as her hand fell into the blonde haired girl’s hand, earning back her attention with the small yet simple gesture. Vanessa was a very physical person — she loved hugs, she loved holding hands with her friends to show them her love and appreciation — Hailey, however new to the group she was, was no exception. 

“Hailey. . . I hope you know how much what you did today meant to me.” Vanessa began, her accent coating her words as her eyes fell to her lap. “I got moved to another foster home on Monday and. . . I know it sounds stupid, but asking for money before the first cheque from the state comes in is a big no no if I want to stay somewhere for longer than half a week."

Vanessa’s voice was low and quiet, only loud enough for the blonde sitting beside her to hear as Hailey’s heart squeezed tightly. She hadn’t missed the giant smile on Vanessa’s face as she was handed her Oreo milkshake, or the way her her mood had completely brightened in giddy, goofy happiness as she bounced around and made fun of Kevin. Hailey, despite her tough exterior, would secretly do anything to make the people she cared about smile. Absolutely anything. Without ever second guessing herself.

“I didn’t want you to be left out.” Hailey’s response was at a matching volume. “Feeling like the outsider all of the time. . . It’s not fun. I get that. That’s why I’m so endlessly grateful to have made such good friends here.”

“You? The outsider? That’s hard to imagine.”

“Three words, V. Three words.”

“Hm?”

“Private girls school.”

“. . . Yeah, say no more."

Everything that Hailey had said was the truth. She knew what it was like to be the outsider, she knew what it was like to feel like the ground beneath you was always shaking and about to give out on you no matter what you did. No amount of duct tape would hold it together, and given the fact that Vanessa had just had to uproot her life — again — Hailey could sympathise with what she was going through despite the fact that she would thankfully never understand it fully. 

Hailey sighed lightly as she gave Vanessa’s hand a small squeeze. “I wish you could live with me.”

“Can I?” 

Though Vanessa was clearly joking, as seen by the smile playing at her lips and her humorous tone, Hailey really did wish she could bring Vanessa to live with her — perhaps just not at _her_ house. With _her_ father. And her mother, who was always excusing the former’s behaviour. Always. 

“I’m not sure you’d like it very much at my house.” The blue eyed girl let out an exhale as she spoke. “There’s a reason I spend so much time at Adam’s house.”

“I get it.” Vanessa’s eyes held sympathy towards Hailey. “But hey. . . we’ve got each other, right? We’ve got these two doofuses in the front seat, we’ve got Stella and Kim and Kelly and Kev. And one day we can all run away together and forge a home in the woods using our very minimal survival skills that would definitely not suffice to stop us getting eaten by a bear or something.”

At the sound of Vanessa addressing him and Jay, Adam turned around from the driver’s seat as he pulled up at a stoplight before directing his words to the girls in the back seat.

“Hey! I was a Cub Scout when I was younger, you know! ” He said, his chest puffing out ever so slightly in pride. "We’d be just fine in the woods."

“Adam, shut the hell up,” Hailey laughed as she looked at him incredulously, rolling her eyes at the boy. “You did Cub Scouts for two months and then you quit when you couldn’t get a single badge because they required you actually putting work into them. All you wanted to do was sit there with a juice box and a cookie.”

“Says the one who got kicked out of Girl Scouts for threatening to set a girl’s hair on fire!”

“She deserved it.”

“She was _traumatised_!”

“Good. I don’t like her. She tried to steal my backpack."

“It was _ten_ years ago, Hailey.”

“It was my favourite backpack!"


	6. ❄ five ❄

The next week, Hailey and Vanessa sat by each other in their Biology class while studying for an upcoming test they had whilst munching on some popcorn that Vanessa had snuck into her bookbag at some point during the day. 

“V, when the fuck and how the fuck did you even get the popcorn?” Hailey asked incredulously as she shovelled a few pieces into her mouth while their teacher’s back was turned. “I mean, I’m not complaining — but — I swear I didn’t see you with a giant ass bag of popcorn this morning when Adam and I picked you up.”  
  
Vanessa only grinned in response as she averted her gaze from Hailey’s, glancing down at the empty notebook in front of her. “I mentioned last night that I was craving popcorn, and so somebody got me some.”  
  
“Kevin?”  
  
Once again, the only response that Hailey received was a sheepish smile, answering her question in its entirety. The blonde chuckled as she too put her head down to look at the work she had done that lesson — they had been drawing out cell diagrams for far too long for anybody to still be interested. Hailey had spent most of her time colour coding her cell and making it look pretty (with the help of Vanessa’s giant bag of popcorn, of course).  
  
Hailey was just about to turn to talk to Vanessa again when the sound of her phone buzzing from beside her gained her attention, the girl glancing down at the screen as she saw a text message pop up. It was Jay. 

  


Hailey smiled down at her phone as she quickly switched it off at the sound of their teacher coming up to them, sliding her phone under her thigh. It wasn’t long before the class was dismissed and both Hailey and Vanessa headed to the empty art room for lunch, the two girls were stopped by Adam who had a look on his place that Hailey couldn’t quite place.  
  
“Adam?” Hailey furrowed her brows at her best friend with a frown. “Adam, what’s wrong?”  
  
His hand gripped her arm firmly as he looked around the hallway. “I need to talk to you.”  
  
Hailey glanced over at Vanessa, exchanging a confused and concerned expression.  
  
“I’ll … I’ll give you two a minute,” Vanessa said, offering a small smile up at the two teenagers as she ducked inside of the art room with the others.  
  
It was only then with Vanessa gone that Hailey was fully able to take in just how unsettling the look on Adam’s face was. Her eyes were trained on the boy as his darted around and all over the place, her stomach flipping nervously as she waited for Adam to break whatever bad news he had to break to her.  
  
“Before you freak out, I want you to know my dad has this handled,” Adam started, a hand on Hailey’s wrist to offer up some comfort. “You don’t have to worry about anything — Dad just wanted me to let you know.”  
  
Hailey was getting anxious at this point. “Just tell me, Adam. The more you tell me not to worry, the more I worry.”  
  
“Well — uh — your — your dad got picked up for reckless endangerment and a DUI this morning.”  
  
It took a second for the words to sink in, but once they did, Hailey found herself biting down on her lip with a feeling of unease bubbling up in her stomach.  
  
This was bad. Very bad.

“Adam, he’s —”  
  
Adam instinctively pulled his best friend closer to him, wrapping an arm around her as she ran her palms down her cheeks. “I know.”  
  
“He’s going to be so mad when he gets home.”  
  
“It’s being dealt with, Hailey. I promise. My dad says everything is under control and he’s not even going to have it on his record.”  
  
Hailey couldn’t help but rest her head on Adam’s shoulder at the headache that was already starting to make an appearance. She wasn’t one to show her emotions or any sense of vulnerability to anybody, but with Adam? it was different. She didn’t need to tell him how she was feeling — he just knew. He _always_ knew.  
  
“Do you want to go home? Be with your mom?”  
  
“No,” Hailey shook her head gently, sighing. “No, it’s fine. I’m good.”  
  
“You sure?” Adam’s eyes held nothing but pure, sincere concern as he stared at Hailey intently.  
  
“I’m sure.” Hailey’s head bobbed up and down in a nod before she quickly changed the subject. “Can we make a stop on the way home after school?”  
  
“Sure. Where?”  
  
“Grocery store. I need ingredients to make loukoumades.”  
  
Adam’s mouth fell open in shock, the corners of his lips curling upwards into a smile that amused the blonde greatly. “You’re making loukoumades!? I can have some, right? Ugh, _please_ tell me I can have some!”  
  
“I’m making them for a picnic, but I’ll make extras for you to scoff down.”  
  
Adam grinned, clearly very happy with himself. “Bless you and your Greek food, Hails.”  
  
The two teenagers joined the rest of their friends and fell into their places quickly, both choosing to ignore what was going on outside of the world that they had created for themselves for the time being.  
  
It sounded stupid to call it ‘their own little world’ to anybody who wasn’t them, but it was the only way Hailey would ever know how to describe it. It was no secret that she was more of the philosophical and sentimental type; it had always come naturally to her. She was sure that was why she loved literature as much as she did — being able to analyse things and dive deeper and deeper into the meaning was as thrilling to her as a rollercoaster was to others. So when she first started meshing with Adam’s group of friends — when she first started calling them her own friends — it became apparent to her very quickly that they weren’t like any other friends she had ever had. The warm and tingly feeling that she felt in her chest, the completeness that filled her soul — it was unlike anything she had ever known, ever experienced. When they were all together in the art room of their high school, nothing could touch them.  
  
They were invincible and in the best way possible. 


End file.
